A performance piece

We have this idea of what trauma looks like, these ingrained beliefs about how trauma is experienced, spoken about and lived through. When it doesn’t come in these expected packages, it can be very hard for people to wrap their head around. Often times, it’s not the act of listening they are there for, it’s your emotional response they are craving and wanting to be a part of. As a society, we have become so addicted to the pain of others that we reject the stories (and judge those they belong to) when the performance doesn’t live up to our expectations. We misinterpret the intentions of those who stop hiding it, and those who are no longer reliving their trauma when they tell us about it.
“Well if you’re no longer reliving the trauma, why bring it up? Why focus on the negative? Why can’t you JUST be positive?”
Because I’m not living my life according to someone else’s projections of what is, and what is not something.
Because I do not subscribe to the belief that “negative” is inherently bad, and that we need to just be “positive”.
Because I no longer feel shameful for my story. I no longer feel shameful for my own actions, nor the actions of others towards me.
While I am not defined by my past, will not deny my history either.

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